Forward

Forward by: Professor E.G White, Department of Galactic Historiography and Comparable Studies, University of Hades Gamma Cluster.

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What follows is the much anticipated manuscript “A Variety of Short, Interrelated Tales in No Particular Order from Somewhere Which Does Not Exist”, in its unadulterated and unabridged form. On ED06/07/2354, the manuscript was found by an Alliance space freighter adrift in an unmarked capsule orbiting the second moon of Ixion in our very own Hades Gamma Cluster. Never in our history has one manuscript created such contention, disagreement and outright confusion among the academic community.

Upon its discovery, there was a veritable frenzy among the leading historians of the time, as can be expected when an important historical artefact such as “The Variety”, as it has come to be known, is discovered. Academics from across the galaxy rushed with almost undignified excitement to be the first to determine the planet of its origin, and thereby earn the privilege of naming the manuscript. However, most curiously, none were able to determine any matching world through their investigations.

The “manuscript” in fact consisted of an amalgam of recorded material, written records and digital documents stored on primitive file storage devices. The capsule and the manuscript inside were found to be at least 100 years old, and it was determined that certainly nothing of that sort could have been manufactured within that time period, ruling out a recent hoax. The Galactic Federation of Practicing Historians (GFPH) decreed on ED27/03/2355 that the historian who matched “The Variety” to a planet would be rewarded the princely sum of G$100,000. Despite this considerable incentive, not a single historian came forward to claim the prize.

Despairing at being so foiled, the historical community finally swallowed its collective pride and posed the question to the largest computer of the time, the Mind 7.0 model, on ED21/07/2355. This was not the first time that artificial intelligence had been used to place a historical manuscript estranged from its planet of origin. However, the GFPH, as well as much of the organic population of the galaxy, maintained strong distrust and often open hostility towards AI. Computer programs had, until then, been used only to accomplish mindless and repetitive tasks which humans found distasteful and time-consuming.

The decoding of “The Variety” was therefore an historic moment, as the first case in which AI was turned to in order to solve a deductive task. Indeed, many who champion the rights of AI across the galaxy cite the case of this manuscript as an example of computers’ eligibility for equal civil rights among organic species. But I wish not to touch upon the sensitive politics of our time.

Mind 7.0 cross-referenced all the details mentioned in the manuscript against its immeasurable information database and its almost infinite topographical resources, in hope of properly ascertaining which planet’s history was about to be magnificently enriched by the manuscript in question. After much deliberation, involving nearly an Earth month of scanning archives and knowledge databases, Mind 7.0 came up with an answer on ED17/08/2355, one which still divides the historical community today.

It determined that not only did the planet in question not exist, but it had in fact never existed. Furthermore, it proved with infallible reason that the existence of this planet was not only unlikely to a degree verging on certainty, but also that its existence was in fact a logical impossibility.

At first believing the computer’s logic to be flawed, the historical community repeated the test a number of times, finally admitting the fact that no one wished to acknowledge – that the planet described so vividly in “The Variety” did not exist. Unable to dispute the AI’s conclusion, which has since been corroborated by a number of leading mathematicians, computer scientists and even other AI, the historical community eventually conceded that while the computer had created more questions than it had answered, it had at least done what was asked of it.

It was therefore suggested some time afterwards that Mind 7.0 be awarded the honour of being allowed to name the manuscript, to the loud protests of the historians who had worked on the project. On ED12/09/2355, Mind 7.0 was asked for the name it would give to the controversial document. After less than a second of consideration, it supplied the name that we know today; “A Variety of Short, Interrelated Tales in No Particular Order from Somewhere Which Does Not Exist”, which the Chairman of the GFPH later described as “woefully adequate”.

Setting aside for one moment the fascinating questions that this incident raised about the place of artificial intelligence in our society, and especially in academia, one must consider the daunting task that faced the historians of that time – that of explaining how such a rich and detailed historical record had been created for a planet that did not actually exist. To this day no real consensus has yet been reached, and perhaps none ever will. Theories still range from those who consider it a work of convincing fiction, to those more radical historians who believe it to be a historical record from an alternate universe. While all of the popular theories are equally possible, no convincing evidence has yet been produced, and therefore all can be regarded from an academic point of view as also being equally untrue.

Therefore, as so very often in our elusive discipline, we must admit that we may never know the true origins of this astounding manuscript. The Goddess of History may choose to reveal herself to us through the mists of time, but only she chooses how much she wishes to reveal. It is up to us to make do with the scraps of history that we are thrown, and not to bemoan their sparse or incomplete nature.